““Ladies and Gentlemen: We are experiencing a momentary delay because of train traffic ahead of us. ‘Momentary’ being something of a nebulous term, admittedly. Why, compared to the vast expanse of time, your entire life is a moment.”
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Ladies and gentlemen: If you see an elderly, pregnant, or disabled person near you, offer your seat. Then take a furtive look around you to see if anyone noticed your act of gallantry. Bask in the subtle, barely perceptible sense of appreciation emanating from your fellow passengers. You’re a damn hero is what you are. You don’t need to do anything nice for anybody else today.”"
http://qz.com/397906/honest-new-york-city-subway-announcements/
These are all deeply amusing.
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