"I think in part because so much of our focus has been on reducing prejudice, and we haven’t focused as much on equipping people with the skills to actually navigate cross-group intersections successfully or with ease and comfort and confidence.
And I think what often happens is when we feel anxious, we kind of shut down. We’re a little more likely to depend on stereotypes for how we perceive people and how we respond to people. So, if we give people opportunities for real engagement across group lines — and these need to be repeated actions. It can’t just be one experience.
And often for those folks who say I tried and it went terribly, I try to remind them when you first try to learn how to play tennis, you don’t know how to hold the racket right. When you’re first learning a language, you’re not automatically fluent, that these skills take time to cultivate, and that the more we actually engage meaningfully across group boundaries, the greater facility we get in doing so, the greater ease and comfort we experience...
You know, I think people on all sides have a bit of responsibility to take. I think, in particular, white people need to be less concerned about how they will be perceived and really more focused on learning about others’ perspective.
And I think to the extent that they do that with integrity and the best of intentions, as we were describing before, I think people of color will be receptive to that and be more willing to engage in conversation."
http://www.pbs.org/newshour/bb/improve-dialogue-race-relations/
!! I love you, white friends, but with a lot of you conversations about race feel like me just constantly reassuring you that you are a good person. I bet queer folks have the same issue with straight people; Muslims with Christians; not women with men as much because men always think they know what they are doing (<-- only sort of joking).
Anyway, we gotta put ourselves aside when we are trying to engage with another group's oppressions.
(credit to KM)
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