Thursday, August 13, 2015

"How to Be Alone: An Antidote to One of the Central Anxieties and Greatest Paradoxes of Our Time"

"Curiously, and importantly, mastering the art of solitude doesn’t make us more antisocial but, to the contrary, better able to connect. By being intimate with our own inner life — that frightening and often foreign landscape that philosopher Martha Nussbaum so eloquently urged us to explore despite our fear — frees us to reach greater, more dimensional intimacy with others...
Our two most common tactics for shielding against solitude, Maitland notes, are the offensive fear-and-projection strategy, where we criticize those capable of finding joy in solitude and condemn them to the sad-mad-bad paradigm, and the defensive approach, where we attempt to insulate ourselves from the risk of aloneness by obsessively accumulating a vast network of social ties as a kind of “insurance policy.” In one of her most quietly poignant asides, Maitland whispers: There is no number of friends on Facebook, contacts, connections or financial provision that can guarantee to protect us."
http://www.brainpickings.org/2014/09/03/how-to-be-alone-school-of-life/

Also, the early definition of spinster as someone who could spin well, and therefore entered marriage freely and not out of desperation. 

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