“But even if it were somehow possible to objectively evaluate all of our female peers against ourselves, it’s worth asking why we’re spending all this time creating a ranking system in our minds. When we hate on women who we perceive to be more “together” than we are, we’re really just expressing the negative feelings we have about our own careers, or bodies, or relationships.
Here’s my solution: When you meet a woman who is intimidatingly witty, stylish, beautiful, and professionally accomplished, befriend her. Surrounding yourself with the best people doesn’t make you look worse by comparison. It makes you better…
Approaching and befriending women who I identify as smart and powerful (sometimes actively pursuing them, as with any other crush) has been a major revelation of my adult life. First, there’s the associative property of awesomeness: People know you by the company you keep. I like knowing that my friends are so professionally supportive that when they get a promotion, it’s like a boost for my résumé, too, because we share a network and don’t compete for contacts. Also, it’s just plain tough out there — for all the aforementioned reasons about the economy and the dating scene and body-image pressures. I want the strongest, happiest, smartest women in my corner, pushing me to negotiate for more money, telling me to drop men who make me feel bad about myself, and responding to my outfit selfies from a place of love and stylishness, not competition and body-snarking.”
Shine Theory started to be a ting a while ago, but I just recently discovered it and I love this.
I attended a high school graduation speech by Marissa Myer (before she became, like, MARISSA MYER, so it wasn’t a big deal at the time) and she gave some really great advice for college/life: Always have friends who are better than you are at something. Never be the smartest person you know.
I love this advice, and it makes me think of friendships as a way to learn about another way of being, and sort of an outsourcing of knowledge and skills (in addition to love and support and warm fuzzies). People should build each other up.
FB: How did I totally miss Shine Theory?
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