"If your grandmother dies, don’t tell your professors."

"One would think that they would remember feeling confused and rejected as new students. One would think that the memory of entering a campus where Women’s History or Black History was an elective, but the history of Dead White Dudes was taught in every required core class would inspire them to at least refrain from publicly belittling younger versions of themselves that might one day need their help.

This isn’t about the rare student that has a grandmother die before a midterm. This is about the very common student that is lonely, and needs a mentor, and will be heartbroken to discover via a Google search that their new professor views students as customers to be ridiculed. After all, these ‘younger versions’ of these professors are the students that are most at risk for feeling rejected and isolated."

https://medium.com/@dexdigi/if-your-grandmother-dies-dont-tell-your-professors-61fd9447ef88

I almost feel like this should be read starting with the second section ("Callousness with a Cause?), and then coming back to the first section at the end if needed for context, because the important stuff doesn't start until the middle.

The data in here on race and mental health at Cornell is really important - and the general point that there is a huge and important difference in sense of belonging, access to social support, likelihood that you will be able to find someone who understands what your problem is - being able to find someone that believes your problem exists. 

There is a student group that just started up at my alma mater around students who are low income and/or are in the first generation to go to college, and there is a lot of stuff in there that makes me think about all of the privileges I have and all of the problems people might have felt the need to hide from me at some point. About the many moments when I felt comfortable and happy and secure and I wasn't even aware of having those positive experiences, and someone else was feeling lost and overwhelmed, maybe even people who I had strong relationships with. And how that is a moment where I might have chosen to make a joke or be 'clever' and it might have torn someone in two.