“His apology’s thoroughness wouldn't be worth noting if most public figures’ mea culpas weren't so shoddy. The Internet has countless lists of famous folks botching it, sometimes by passive-aggressively expressing remorse only for people’s offense instead of the action that caused it, or by trying to explain away the mistake. Apologies like these can actually make things worse. When Don Lemon basically asked a rape accuser why she didn't bite Bill Cosby and then responded to backlash with, "If my question to her struck anyone as insensitive, I am sorry," it muddied the issue, implying that anyone who took issue with the question was overly touchy.”
It often feels as though apologies are just a way to be able to move past something (for the person who is asking to be forgiven) and forget about it, when they really should be the first step in healing. They should be an opening for saying next ‘and how can I help you recover?’. That moment when you accidentally step on someone’s toe and they are clearly in pain and you stop and apologize verbally and also help them sit down and then ask if there is anything else you can do – and you only don’t do that if you think your life is too busy to deal with the problem you have caused, or if something about the person makes you not want to interact. Like, that should be the model, and we should be self-aware about our choices in those moments.
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