"After a hard look at my circumstances, I decided to take up sex work. My lifelong anxiety hadn’t throttled my performance in office jobs, but a decade of cubicles had exhausted me. My social anxiety in the workplace outweighed my competence. I was undeniably weird, and in job after job, my colleagues would grow cold. I would lie awake night after night, wondering if tomorrow was the day I would be fired.
After three sleepless nights during my frustrated job search, I stared through bleary eyes at my CV on my flickering screen. I had never actually been fired, but contracts were rarely renewed, and I had wandered from job to job. I had devoured self help books, seen three different kinds of therapists, and tried a medication that gave me even less sleep, a clenched jaw, and no abatement in my anxiety. What use was starting again in a new workplace?...
for much of my adult life, I had been an active participant in the BDSM community. In time I had gotten to know some sex workers as personal friends, and over time, I had acquired much of the experience, tools, and skills required to engage in professional kink. Plus, I felt like I had finally found something I was both good at and enjoyed. It’s worked out well: self-employment has drastically lowered my anxiety, but the stigma and isolation of sex work have brought me new worries, and have challenged my efforts to seek mental health support...
Although I am a legal resident of the UK, paying taxes and working within the law, sex workers here and worldwide know that police officers and departments can act based on stigma rather than the law. With this constantly in mind, I am wary of contacting the police. For me this is a particular burden because I have an active stalker. Instead of seeking legal recourse, I’ve had to become a near hermit, avoiding the parties and clubs of the kink scene and making sure I never advertise my plans on social media."
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