"Now, you’re probably thinking that all this bleeding must be detrimental to my work. After all, humans need their blood to make spreadsheets and eat salads and attend internal debriefings. Well, you would be wrong. Dead wrong. You know what isn’t dead though? Me after bleeding constantly for seven days.
Remember that meeting yesterday? The one where you talked over me repeatedly, so that I was forced to yell over you? It was so fun, both of us yelling like that. Weren’t you pumped? I was so pumped, but I was also pumping blood out of my uterus. That’s right, my life force was being pumped out of my body and into my pants — my fashionable, androgynous, business pants. Sure, that meeting was high stakes for you, but just one sneeze and it would’ve been all over for me. Seriously, it would’ve been all over my very expensive pants."
Menstruation is often the worst, but I'm gonna be real honest, I don't know what I would do if every once in a while some floppy tissue between my thighs could become an uncomfortable stick.
Aaah that's so weird
FB: It's all true "So what if you negotiated the big deal and signed the huge contract? Did you sign your huge contract in blood? No, you didn’t because you’re not a blood machine like me. Everyone knows that a contract is never more legally binding than when it’s been sealed with a bodily fluid. What fluids do you have on hand? Only clear ones? How embarrassing for you."
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