Monday, September 12, 2016

"Why I won't date another 'male feminist'"

"In theory, it sounds excellent. It would be a hard slog to have a relationship with someone whose sociopolitical stance differs hugely from yours, so when I first began identifying as a feminist I thought that my beliefs would carry over seamlessly in to my dating life as well. I’m a feminist, so shouldn’t the men I date and sleep with be feminists too?

Unfortunately, it wasn’t quite so simple. From the man who opened a text conversation with a photo of his naked chest and encouraged me to reciprocate in the name of the Free The Nipple movement, to the fellow who agonised over accepting a blowjob because, despite enjoying them, he found the act simply too degrading to let me perform; dating male feminists turned out to be one of the least empowering decisions I’ve ever made.

It’s not that I don’t want to be with a man who respects me, values consent, or is conscious of the various gender-based imbalances in the world today. These qualities are a bare minimum.

But men looking for feminist-sanctioned romance tend to fall in to one of two categories: those who use our attraction as a sign of approval and seek out trophy feminists to clear their conscience of any inherent patriarchal wrong-doing, and outright predators who employ a bare-bones knowledge of feminist discourse to target any young woman whose politics so much as graze the notion of sex-positivity."

http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2015/oct/19/why-i-wont-date-another-male-feminist?CMP=share_btn_fb

(credit to KM and his undeserved paranoia that he might secretly be an asshole)

Related: "Liberal Dude Erotica" <-- amusingly narrates this from inside a dude's head.

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