"On Being a Chinese-American Woman"

"Although I went to elementary school with mostly Asian children, my middle and high school lacked significant diversity. I often felt I had to de-racialize myself to fit in, and at times found myself rejecting friendships with other Asian students because that would make me more Asian (and therefore more marginalized) by association. This all happened unconsciously; I was a child who lacked an objective understanding of the shame I felt for being different. I often found myself not studying in order to counteract stereotypes that because I was Asian, I was a nerd. I stopped going to Chinese school and put up a fight practicing piano every evening -- things I wish I had continued -- because I felt that they would further alienate me (I didn't need to be further alienated, I was already marked as an alien on my green card before my citizenship!). Unfortunately, my rejection of education was against my parents' values; like many Chinese immigrants, they relied on education as the main mode of upward mobility. My reaction towards discrimination and my desire to assimilate were costly and left me confused, isolated and filled with shame and guilt...

I want to be vocal about my experience in order to encourage others to do the same. The experience is one that needs to be collectively shared so that future generations will one day feel empowered and thus embrace their culture."

http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/8298920?utm_hp_ref=women&ir=Women%3Futm_hp_ref%3Dwomen&ir=Women&ncid=fcbklnkushpmg00000046

Also interesting is how inte red this is, how much race and gender are intertwined in the US.

Related: on friendship and knowing your place, the videos on yellow fever