"The self-reliant individual is a myth that needs updating"

"One reason that such characters seem appealing is that, ironically, they are reassuring. They give the comforting impression that anyone could thrive in isolation as they do. This reassurance can be summed up in the declaration made by Henrik Ibsen’s Dr Stockmann at the end of AnEnemy of the People (1882), after the locals have persecuted him for revealing that the town’s tourist baths are contaminated. Stockmann declares: ‘The strongest man in the world is he who stands most alone.’

The great loners embody an idea of freedom from the vagaries and stresses of social life. As human beings, we are vulnerable to each other’s moods, proclivities, ideologies, perceptions, knowledge and ignorance. We are vulnerable to our society’s conventions, policies and hierarchies. We need other people’s blessing and often their help in order to get resources. When we’re young and when we’re old, we are vulnerable enough that our lives are happy only if other people choose to care about us...

Such accounts are confirmed by a growing body of psychological evidence that indicates that supportive social contact, interaction and inclusion are fundamentally important to a minimally decent human life and, more deeply, to human wellbeing. For the most part, we needone another; we cannot flourish or even survive without each other. These fundamental needs are the ground for a range of rights that we neglect, but should not, including the rights to be part of a network of social connections.

In our individualistic, western culture, where the romantic image of the great loner prevails, it will take some argumentative muscle to show that we should adopt a different model of the ‘strongest man’."

https://aeon.co/opinions/what-lies-behind-the-myth-of-the-strong-self-reliant-loner?utm_source=nextdraft&utm_medium=email

I strongly agree with this thesis, and I wish the essay was longer.

I want to see a turn from the American value in the family to an American value in the community; I want to see selfishness be recognized for what it is, instead of cynically encouraged as part of capitalism. I want us to see ourselves as part of each others' stories, and see other people as parts of ours. I want more cultural examples of how to be vulnerable, and worthy of others' vulnerability; I want our idea of strength to recognize that strong people are maintained by having strong communities. 

Related: friends regulate each other emotions; https://medium.com/life-learning/the-bigger-your-dream-the-more-important-your-team-399dea6fff4d#.fx7ecu4gv