"The main reason why family members clash in this way is the same reason why they love each other so much: comfort. Family members know each other so well — too well — and that means they feel comfortable around each other. There are obviously great benefits to being in relationships where people feel accepted and secure. But comfort is a double-edged sword. It means that individuals feel safe showing every side of themselves to others — the good and, unfortunately, the bad and the ugly.
"The fact that you can be meanest to the ones you love is not a sign that you feel the most negative to loved ones," said Margaret Clark, a social psychologist at Yale University whose research focuses on relationships. "But that you feel the most comfortable to express your negative emotions to them.""
Yessss
I have been reflecting on the ways that the things I have the most positive emotions about are sometimes the things I am able to have the most negative feelings about. Or how to communicate irritation to a friend without making them think there are no positive feelings - but also without diminishing the communication of the negative feelings.
It's often that I am only able to be really angry about something because I love it so much, and it's not clear what to do about that.
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