"I know I am one of the good ones because I have (selectively) radical politics (even though I sometimes misgender* my trans and gender-nonconforming* students). I know I’m one of the good ones because I often say the words “queer” “cis” and “trans-antagonism” in casual conversation.
I know I am one of the good ones because I keep it so real (but only about stuff I am really comfortable keeping it so real about, and I have no idea what to do with the thin terrifying line between publicly reckoning with the ways I’ve emotionally abused Black women, and the possible re-traumatizing of harmed Black women that often come with these “GoodBlackMen” public reckonings).
I know I am one of the good ones because when Jamilah Lemieux asked me to write 1000 words exploring toxic masculinity, I said yes, even though I should have said, “I do not think I am one of the good ones. I am one of the old ones who should know and do better. I am one of the scared ones, the harmful ones, the cowardly ones often taught by other scared ones, the harmful ones, and the cowardly ones to say and believe things like: “I don’t regret anything because if I hadn’t made those mistakes back in the day, I wouldn’t be the Black man I am today” completely neglecting the fact that much of the “Black man I am today” harmed Black women who would do everything possible not to harm me."
FB:"There ain’t no deliverance when it comes to responsibly loving vulnerable folk who insist on responsibly loving us. There is only work."
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