"We all altercast, for better or worse. Want your co-worker to stay late and proofread a report you wrote? Mention that she is a good writer and really knows the subject. Hope to talk your meat-and-potatoes friend into trying the new Vietnamese restaurant? Tell him you admire his adventurous spirit. Want your husband to clean the garage? Point out what a supportive husband he is and how you know he wants you to be happy.
In each case, you’re casting the other person, or alter, in a role before you make your request. Experts say this works because people typically want to rise to the occasion...
Is this manipulation? It depends on whether you’re being deceptive—and how the person you are trying to influence perceives it. “Altercasting can be very damaging if the other person thinks he’s being manipulated,” says David Ewoldsen, a psychologist and professor in the department of media and information at Michigan State University. But if you keep the other person’s welfare in mind, altercasting can be an effective persuasive tool, he says.
It’s important to be mindful of the role you’re choosing for the other person and always make it a positive one, says Anthony Pratkanis, a professor of psychology at the University of California, Santa Cruz and an authority on altercasting.
Too often, we don’t, and negative roles can stick, becoming harmful to the other person and your relationship. Consider the husband who tells his wife she is a nag or the wife who tells her husband he is lazy. That starts a vicious downward cycle."
So... I totally do this, this is my technique for bringing people around on social stuff. Didn't know there was a word for it. Like, I'll say "Well, you know not to touch a black person's hair, but a lot of people don't know that and it's just a daily annoyance for some people".
No comments:
Post a Comment