"I have experienced a lot of breakage and damage in the past because I simply could not find the strength to tackle my hair. It takes more than two hours to shampoo, condition, detangle, blow dry, and trim it. It is a physical, mental, and emotional labor to do this because of the amount of time that I must spend standing with my arms above my head, using my fingers to detangle, using the blow dryer, etc. It’s frustrating and tedious and exhausting. I have stopped to cry in the middle of detangling or blow drying sessions many times before. I have recently taken to publicly asking friends on social media to hold me accountable and have permitted them to aggressively remind and encourage me to wash my hair. Otherwise, it might not get done. And this does not include the amount of time that it takes to style it after the washing and drying process – whether that be straightening, using perm rods, installing curl formers, etc. – or the time it takes to set the hair in twists or braids to be taken down the next day for a defined style. This does not include henna or masks or oil treatments or pre-pooing or deep conditioning. Ask any natural about “Wash Day” and they will likely have horror stories to tell."
HAIR
I am lucky, relatively; my natural hair requires way, way more effort than my white friends' but it's nowhere near this woman's struggle. I have such a complicated relationship with my hair; I really strongly identify with it and that means I really love it and really resent it. I get terrible advice about what to do with it, sometimes people even chastise me on how I treat it as though they have any idea... I didn't get a haircut I liked until I was 17, I didn't even realize that it was actually possible for me to have a style that both felt authentic and didn't make me horribly self-conscious.
FB: "We aren’t allowed to be vulnerable, in any way. We aren’t afforded the luxury of foregoing an intentional hairstyle and opting for “bed head” for a day or two, lest we be openly criticized and reprimanded for it... There were many others who were relieved to know that they are not alone in this exhaustion. The crying fits. The panic attacks. Breaking combs and throwing hair brushes. The sheer rage at having to dedicate so much time and energy and money to our hair in order to look “presentable,” “professional,” and “acceptable” in a society where our hair is considered to be none of these things without first being tamed to fit White supremacist expectations."
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