"Black, Jewish And Avoiding The Synagogue On Yom Kippur"

"I'm a black woman. No one ever assumes I'm Jewish. When I talk about Judaism, people look at me in a way that makes me feel like I'm breaking into my own house. Especially the people inside the house...

it's one thing when goyim don't recognize my faith. It's a different level of sadness when it comes from other Jews.

I think back to that last time I was in a synagogue, in September 2014...

As soon as we walked in, I started feeling like an accessory. This was a superprogressive synagogue, and I wasn't the only person of color in the congregation. But the way people greeted him first, always; the way someone explained to me what to expect of the service (It will be an hour long with portions in Hebrew and English);the way an usher smiled and asked me, not my boyfriend, What brings you here

Those moments made me want to scream, I'm one of you!"

http://www.npr.org/sections/codeswitch/2016/10/12/496868502/black-jewish-and-avoiding-the-synagogue-on-yom-kippur?utm_campaign=storyshare&utm_source=twitter.com&utm_medium=social

"breaking into your own house ". 

I now have a new way to describe so, so many experiences. 

And there is something so, so exhausting about new environments and having to wait for new people to just get used to you, to accept your presence on that subconscious pattern-forming level. 

FB: "Looking out of place is one of the most consistent parts of my life.

But it's different in a synagogue. There's something about feeling like an outsider in the place where you grew up that stings. Like family members who no longer recognize you."